other perspective

Nice...

In life, a lesson learned in your past that you will never forget
completely. When I was in elementary school, I got into a major argument
with a boy in my class. I have forgotten what the argument was about, but I
have never forgotten the lesson learned that day.
I was convinced that "I" was right and "he" was wrong - and he was just as
convinced that "I" was wrong and "he" was right. The teacher decided to
teach us a very important lesson. She brought us up to the front of the
class and placed him on one side of her desk and me on the other. In the
middle of her desk was a large, round object. I could clearly see that it
was black. She asked the boy what color the object was. "White," he
answered.
I couldn't believe he said the object was white, when it was obviously
black! Another argument started between my classmate and me, this time about
the color of the object.
The teacher told me to go stand where the boy was standing and told him to
come stand where I had been. We changed places, and now she asked me what
the color of the object was. I had to answer, "White." It was an object with
two differently colored sides, and from his viewpoint it was white. Only
from my side was it black.
My teacher taught me a very important lesson learned that day: You must
stand in the other person's shoes and look at the situation through their
eyes in order to truly understand their perspective.

__._,_.___

-Sya

Short Course for Biryani

I love to eat and interesting bout the recipies, specially from other country. Me and Mba Heni has a short course from Bushra on how to cook Biriyani (traditional food from Bangladesh). We are interested to the unique taste and how to serve. So, one day before, i called Bushra and asked to her please teach us to cook biryani, before she going back to her country (Bangladesh).

We came to Bushra's apartment at 2.30 and my husband deliver us. Heni came with her two daughters (Nadia and Dinda) and we directly started to cook Biryani. That day Bushra decided to cooked chicken biryani. We can cook Biryani also with mutton and beef. Before we started to cook usually we prepared meat, special rice and all condiments. The rice is different with daily rice we used, the rice is more longer and smaller (called: Basmati rice). Basicly, Biryani made from mixture of more than 5 condiments, rice, meat or vegetable and yoghurt. These are generally condiments, cloves, cardamom, cinnamon, chili pepper, coriander, bay leaves, ginger, onions, turmeric and yoghurt. Many steps to cooking this food, we used two fry pans, first cooked the meat and second pan to fry the rice, in this step, rice should half cooked. after finished cooking meat and rice, then put rice and meat together and mixed in one pan, after that cook again until rice cooked well. Or we also can use rice cooker to do that and takes time around 20-30 minutes. (Bushra..that is right??)





































["Chef Bushra" teach us how to mix well all the condiments]


To cooked biryani from prepared until finish takes time almost 3 hour. After we finish cooked Biryani, at 7 we start to take a dinner with Biryani ofcourse and eggcurry (yummy). That was delicious food, tasty and spicy. I should say thanx to Bushra and her husband to spare their time and place to teach us. That night was like a small "Biryani's" party. Aji( Bushra's husband) said, Biryani usually serve for special occasion and special person. So, my husband suddenly said to Aji, "Wow, thank you both..to serve Biryani to us"..(^_^)..Ofcourse, we all are special person.. We had a really good time that night.

Ps: In Japan too difficult to find the complete condiments, specially in Saga. But, we can order from other city like Tokyo, one company there provide many kinds of condiments.

-Sya

Garbage Management

I wondering how to manage garbage from one city, for example Saga city-Kyusu Island, Japan. In this case Saga is not too clean, we still find some garbage in the river or sidewalks, but here is still clean than my home town in Indonesia. My hometown, at someplace it is clean but in other places it can be dirty. If i compared with Singapore and some cities in Australia, Saga is not too clean, but Saga and probably all cities in Japan, have a good management for garbage. We should throw the garbage on ashcan depands on the materials. I found this way also happened in other countries but in Japan it is more strict. Ex: i saw in some place there is has 7 ashcan in front of cafetaria, that is for box made from paper or plastic, for bottle from paper or can and then for cup made from paper or plastic and one for organic garbage. Probably from that way the garbage management easily to process or recycle the garbage. To process the garbage, i just imagine, in someplace there is available lots of land to put and burn the garbage and smelly. But, in reality Saga have a big building at Yamato for processing the whole garbage from Saga city.
















[this is the EcoMall]


On that location i was really amazed cause the place is clean (very clean!) and the building is nice, looks like commercial building (i though, that is goverment office..). That place for burning the unused garbage, but outside the building we cannot see smoke from residual insineration or create some bad smell or something bad.. we still can breathe the fresh air. That building is named Ecomall. On that day, I went there and i saw in the first floor there is some space for table and chair to took our lunch and available some food stands. They also have an aquarium made that area more attractive and lively. One room in the left side from the entrance there is like a mini shop, they sell cloths, bags, shoes, house hold with low price, and also have a space for kids play ground, with a mini house there made from milk bottle and hard paper. And regularly there have a bazaar in the first and fourth week of the month. That is something new for me, cause the garbage management here is not happen in my country. I just wish my country will have a good garbage management like that. Japan does a pretty good job with their garbage.

-Sya

Conflict and Diversity

You know.. too many conflict happened in our life.. from smallest until huge one. And sometimes we didn't do anything, just stand in the same place to face the conflict and diversity surround us, or so many times we runaway to hide from them. Do not being a coward, face it with passion, verve and enjoy it.. search and take the red line from them, believe me.. you can find the better solution. You can try to fly like a bird, move out from the trouble and see whole mistake and problem from above..finally, you can see them very clearly and you will find other objective perspective and a boons than you expected before. i should say thanx to God, from many conflict and diversity i had, build me to be a better person day by day. I got the summery from many conflict i had, "Experience, is a collection of successful and happiness recipes". Diversity can be a source of harmony and conflict is essential to, ineradicable from, and inevitable in human life and also the source, cause, and process of conflict can be turned from life-destroying to life-building ends.

May,02-08
Saga,Japan
-Sya

If you cannot remove conflict from life,
why dont adjust your thinking about it?
If you can't beat it, join it.
why not try and see conflict
as the salt of life,
as the big energizer,
the tickler,
the tantalizer,
rather than a bothersome nuisance,
as a noise in a perfect channel,
as disturbing ripples in otherwise quite water?

Why not treat conflict as a form of life,

particularly since we all know

that it is precisely during the periods in our lives
when we are expose
to a conflict that really challenges us,
and that we finally are able to master,
that we feel most alive.

(Galtung 1975-80,3:501)

Mother means glorious career

Sebuah cerita lagi tentang Ibu….

Satu hari aku berada disebuah kantor bersama perempuan bernama Emily yang datang ke tempat itu untuk memperbaharuhi Sim-nya. Pada bagian registrasi, seorang petugas menanyakan tentang apa pekerjaannya. Emily agak ragu dan tidak pasti bagaimana dia harus menjelaskan atau mengklasifikasikan jenis pekerjaannya..

Melihat kebingungannya si petugas bertanya lagi

Yang saya maksud, apa anda memiliki pekerjaan atau anda hanya seorang ibu rumah tangga??. Oh tentu aku memiliki pekerjaan, jawab Emily dengan cepat. Aku adalah seorang ibu, akhirnya Emily menjawab mantap.

Tapi kata si petugas lagi,

"Maaf kami tidak memasukan "Ibu" (mother) dalam daftar pekerjaan. yang ada disini adalah ibu rumah tangga (housewife) dan itu sudah mencakup semuanya"

Aku tertegun sejenak mendengar penjelasan petugas tersebut juga saat melihat wajah Emily tapi kemudian aku melupakan kejadian itu sampai satu hari aku berada dalam situasi yang sama dengan Emily, kali ini aku ada dibalai kota untuk satu urusan yang mengharuskan aku menjawab beberapa pertanyaan untuk kelengkapan administrasi. Petugas yang menanyaiku tentu saja adalah seorang wanita karir yang bangga dengan pekerjaanya dan memberikan pertanyaan padaku dengan nada-nada suara seperti halnya seorang interogator

"Apa pekerjaan anda?"

Entah apa yang terlintas dikepalaku sampai aku menemukan ide untuk menjawab pertanyaan tersebut dengan versiku sendiri. Aku adalah Research Associate dibidang pengembangan anak dan hubungan manusia. Petugas itu diam sejenak seperti berpikir pekerjaan apa ini karena dia belum pernah mendengarnya sebelumnya. Aku mengulanginya sekali lagi dengan lebih pelan dan menekankan suaraku pada bagian-bagian kata yang penting dan memandangnya dan memastikan dia menulisnya dengan benar. Dan " boleh saya bertanya sesuatu" kata petugas tersebut padaku dengan rasa tertarik diwajahnya.

"Kira-kira apa yang anda lakukan dibidang pekerjaan anda itu?

Dan dengan percaya diri dan tanpa ragu-ragu aku mendengar suara- suara yang keluar dari mulutku menjawab pertanyaannya. "Aku melakukan riset berkelanjutan, (bukankah seorang ibu melakukan itu) Aku melakukannya di dalam laboratorium dan di lapangan (maksudku di dalam dan di luar rumah, bukankah dalam situasi normal begitulah kita
menyebutnya). Aku bekerja untuk masterku (untuk seluruh keluarga) Dan aku telah memiliki empat kredit (semua anak perempuanku). Tentu saja, pekerjaan ini salah satu pekerjaan yang sangat sibuk dan salah satu pekerjaan kemanusiaan yang sangat menuntut waktu, tenaga dan pikiranku (ada ibu yang tidak setuju dengan itu??) Dan aku biasanya bekerja 14 jam sehari ( sebenarnya malah 24 jam) tapi pekerjaan ini sangat menantang dari karir apapun dan penghargaan yang kudapatkan adalah rasa kepuasaan dan rasa bahagia, dan itu lebih memuaskan dibandingkan dengan uang.

Ada nada hormat dari suaranya saat dia selesai mendengarkan penjelasanku dan menyelesaikan pengisian dokumen. Kemudian dia berdiri dan mengantarku kedepan pintu. Aku berjalan ke arah tempat parkir mobilku dengan perasaan bangga atas karirku yang sangat cemerlang.

Sesampai dirumah aku disalami oleh tiga orang asistenku berumur, 13, 7 dan 3 tahun. Dari lantai atas aku bisa mendengar experiment baru kami (seorang bayi berumur 6 bulan) pada program pengembangan anak, sedang mencoba mengucapkan pola-pola kalimat baru. Aku merasa sangat sukses dengan semuanya. Betapa ibu adalah sebuah karir yang luar biasa Khususnya apabila kita bisa menuliskan title ini didepan pintu
kita, maka,

Nenek akan menjadi Senior Research Associate dibidang pengembangan anak dan hubungan manusia Nenek buyut menjadi Executive Senior Research Associates. Dan, para saudara perempuan dan para bibi adalah Associate Research Assistants.

See, mother means glorious career, nggak ada pekerjaan yang lebih mulia dari pada pekerjaan seorang Ibu. Do you agree?

-Sya

Dinda`s back..

hey..that is my glasses dinda..



By the way i wrote this on January 26..but not publish yet..i forgot, just saved in my posts list.. Before i wrote about her (Dinda)..this is the sequel story of her..=)

Dinda stayed again in my apartment. She asked her parents that she want to sleep with tante Tessa. Dinda called me and my husband with Tante Tessa and Oom Tri, tante means aunt and oom means uncle. Her father asked my husband Dinda was prepared to stay with me from in the morning and usually she always sleep in the afternoon time, but she didn`t because she is afraid if me didn`t picked her up. She is prepared her milk, pajamas and everything by her self and her mother helped her to put all things in her red bag.

One night before dinda slept in my apartment, we went to buy chocolate cookies for her. Dinda really like chocolate and i should prepared them for her. Actually i love chocolate too..(^_^)

Around 6 o`clock we went to Adi`s house to pick up Dinda. Dinda smiled when saw me and my husband came to her. At 6:30 we got back from her house and went to a japanese restaurant to got dinner with Nandi, my husband friend in University. Dinda didn`t eat to much but she`s finished one glass orange juice. After one hour in there we go to dvd rental store, my husband want found one D for his study and in the sam etime Dinda found a big rack cartoon DVD and she was smiles when her favorite serial in there, Doraemon serial. She asked my husband, that she wanted that movie and after that she is choosed a good one CD`s and asked me want to watching that movie tonight.

We go back to our apartment at 9 o`clock and Dinda asked me to played the Cd, I said "ok, but you should change pajamas first and brushed your teeth", she`s agree and after that she is enjoy to watched Doraemon. After she is finished with one hour CD`s, Dinda want to saw To, and Jerry serial on Youtube and at the same time i gave her a bottle of milk and almost 12 o`clock my husband was turn off the light and we start to sleep.














hai Tante..see, i roll my hair



In the next day, Dinda woke up at 9.30 and she asked to my husband that she was bedwetting..Waaaa, i was surprised..actually she`s was wearing diaper, but because of drink 4 bottle of milk the diaper cant handle that much the "water" a think. For this time, i didn`t got hit by Dinda`s hands or kick from her foot, but.. i should washed oud bed and not dry yet until now. We just laught to Dinda, she is always gave us surprise. Children always give us surprise actually. And the afternoon her parent was pick her up, but she didn`t cried cause she was sleep at that time.=)

-Sya

Bersikap seperti monyet???

Beberapa minggu terakhir ini , hampir setiap hari saya banyak membaca tulisan-tulisan bagus dari orang-orang bijak diluar sana dan sering juga dapat email yang isinya bisa membuka hati, menenangkan hati, mengasah hati, jadi ngingetin tentang beberapa sikap yang saya lakukan.. ternyata itu suatu kekhilafan dan sepertinya nggak tepat dilakukan. Mungkin sikap yang atau tindakan atau pikiran yang dianggap tepat buat kita, belum tentu tepat dan baik untuk orang lain. Tulisan-tulisan yang saya baca itu ada beberapa dari teman-teman dekat malah ada dari orang-orang yang nggak saya kenal sekalipun, benar-benar membuat saya belajar banyak. Kadang ada yang berlomba-lomba buat ngasah otak, sampai pintar.. tapi sayang, nggak dibarengi sama ngasah hati, akhirnya kurang perduli lingkungan sekitar, terlalu sering mengomentari kesalahan-kesalahan yang ada di luar sana dan diluar diri, tapi..pernah nggak mengomentari kesalahan-kesalahan pribadi yang ada?. Hal-hal kayak gitu juga yang buat saya banyak introspeksi diri=)..

Salah satu tulisan yang saya baca minggu ini, mungkin ini tentang penyakit hati.. dan lagi, saya mengambil nilai positif dari tulisan ini.

Pernah membaca artikel menarik tentang
teknik berburu monyet di hutan-hutan Afrika?. Caranya
begitu unik. Sebab, teknik itu memungkinkan si pemburu
menangkap monyet dalam keadaan hidup-hidup tanpa
cedera sedikitpun. Maklum, ordernya memang begitu.
Sebab, monyet-monyet itu akan digunakan sebagai hewan
percobaan atau binatang sirkus di Amerika.


Cara menangkapnya sederhana saja. Sang pemburu hanya
menggunakan toples berleher panjang dan sempit. Toples
itu diisi kacang yang telah diberi aroma.
Tujuannya,agar mengundang monyet-monyet datang.
Setelah diisi kacang, toples-toples itu ditanam dalam
tanah dengan menyisakan mulut toples dibiarkan tanpa
tutup.

Para pemburu melakukannya di sore hari. Besoknya,
mereka tingal meringkus monyet-monyet yang tangannya
terjebak di dalam botol tak bisa dikeluarkan. Kok,
bisa? Tentu kita sudah tahu jawabnya. Monyet-monyet
itu tertarik pada aroma yang keluar dari setiap
toples. Mereka mengamati lalu memasukkan tangan untuk
mengambil kacang-kacang yang ada di dalam. Tapi karena
menggenggam kacang, monyet-monyet itu tidak bisa
menarik keluar tangannya. Selama mempertahankan
kacang-kacang itu, selama itu pula mereka terjebak.
Toples itu terlalu berat untuk diangkat. Jadi,
monyet-monyet itu tidak akan dapat pergi ke mana-mana!

Teman, kita mungkin akan tertawa melihat tingkah bodoh
monyet-monyet itu. Tapi, tanpa sadar sebenamya kita
mungkin sedang menertawakan diri sendiri. Ya, kadang
kita bersikap seperti monyet-monyet itu. Kita
mengenggam erat setiap permasalahan yang kita miliki
layaknya monyet mengenggam kacang. Kita sering
mendendam, tak mudah memberi maaf, tak mudah
melepaskan maaf.

Mulut mungkin berkata ikhlas, tapi bara amarah masih
ada di dalam dada. Kita tak pernah bisa melepasnya.
Bahkan, kita bertindak begitu bodoh, membawa
"toples-toples" itu ke mana pun kita pergi, dan tetap
merasa kita sudah bertindak paling benar dan orang lain salah.
Dengan beban berat itu, kita berusaha untuk terus berjalan.
Tanpa sadar, kita sebenamya sedang terperangkap
penyakit hati yang akut atau sudah mengkronis. Sadarkah?

Sebenarnya monyet-monyet itu bisa selamat kalau
mau membuka genggaman tangannya. Dan, kita pun akan
selamat dari penyakit hati jika sebelum tidur kita mau

melepas semua "rasa tidak enak" terhadap siapapun yang

berinteraksi dengan kita. Dengan begitu kita akan
mendapati hari esok begitu cerah, lebih baik, tanpa tekanan, relaks dan menghadapinya
dengan senyum. Dan, kita pun tahu surga itu
diperuntukkan bagi orang-orang yang hatinya bersih.

So, masih mau membawa "toples-toples" itu kemana-mana?

mudah-mudahan dari semua tulisan-tulisan yang pernah kita baca dari siapapun itu, nggak perlu mikir dulu itu orang yang baik atau nggak, terkenal atau nggak, pejabat atau bukan, dia punya fisik Ok atau mungkin sebaliknya, atau apapun itu. Tapi, paling nggak tulisan-tulisannya punya good value dan mungkin bisa jadi inspirasi buat orang lain berubah positif. (^_^)..

-Sya

Children

"Children like a white canvas, they will grow up with many and different character depends on what painting we created and how colourfull was painted in canvas". And yesterday my husband sent me an email,

Children Learn What They Live
(Dorothy Law Nolte)

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

Dari Lingkungan Hidupnya Anak-anak Belajar…

.

Jika anak dibesarkan dengan celaan

Ia belajar memaki

Jika anak dibesarkan dengan permusuhan

Ia belajar menentang

Jika anak dibesarkan dengan cemoohan

Ia belajar rendah diri

Jika anak dibesarkan dengan toleransi

Ia belajar jadi penyabar

Jika anak dibesarkan dengan dorongan

Ia belajar percaya diri

Jika anak dibesarkan dengan pujian

Ia belajar menghargai

Jika anak dibesarkan dengan kasih sayang dan persahabatan

Ia akan terbiasa berpendirian

And in other way about children, Kahlil Gibran said...

Children

(Kahlil Gibran)

.

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
And He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also
The bow that is stable.

-Sya