Hobby,study and dream..

Everybody must have something to do they enjoy and have a fun feeling when they do that and i call that a hobby. My hobby is all about art and design, especially for drawing, painting, fashion and interior design. If i draw and paint, i prefer to it do on paper and canvas with water colour, drawing pen, pencil, pencil colour or oil colour and aclyric. However sometimes i do with more than one material colour to finish my piece.

["study and work" - drawing pen, by: Tessa 'O5]

["Me and my self " - photograph and pencil, by: Tessa 'O4]

["Happy" - pencil colour and poster colour, by:Tessa 'O4]

["cipaganti bawah" - darawing pen, by: Tessa 'O5]

My mother told me bout my talent as my hobby started since i was still in kindergarten and i always said the same idea when i become a grow up someday to be a designer. When i was in Junior high school i deciced to be a fashion designer, but after i finished my study in Junior school and started with Senior school i changed my mind to be an Interior designer because i had a survey that fashion study in fave college is very expensive, Damn!.. and i cant reach that, but i am still in love with fashion design. When i finished my Senior high school i choose the art and design faculty at one university in my hometown and i choose interior design as a major. I did'nt make a mistake to enter this major, i loved and enjoyed all subjects, in spite of the studio class sometimes take my time to relax or hang out with my friends and that makes me so tired, but i feel happy with that. In interior design i have my own style, in every design i always put something traditional from my country and always use wood as one of materials in my design, but i should try to understand what the costumer wants. If they disagree with my style, for that case i have other ways to solve the design. I am more interesting with classic or traditional styles than simple and modern style, because it is beautiful to see i think and if use traditional or classic style in design, i can bring my "identity" and also bring my own style when i create my design where ever i go.

[romantic Paris and historical Rome]

Finally, after three and a half years i can complete my subjects and graduate from the university as a Interior designer, i am very happy because my wish came true and i really thank my family and friends who supported my dream. And i have other dream i wishing come true in my future, i want to go to Europe because there so many classical and heritage buildings also interior designs. I am really interested about that. Before i just saw in my history art books when i was still in unversity. I hope my dream will come true for traveling around Europe(^_^), especially to go to Rome because i want to see the Colloseum there and also want to see Paris is the most popular fashion city in the world, many famous fashion designers are from there and create fashion houses, popular brand fashions and those all go international. From there i will learn much more art and design directly.. hmm, I wish..

-Sya

Anniversary

I got anniversary invitation from Bushra on monday and January 14, 2008 we (me and my husband) and Adi's family went to Bushra and Azi party's first anniversary. Bushra and Azi are couple from Bangladesh, one country near from India and Myanmar in South Asia. In party i meet with Punchy and Pongsan student from Thailand, Furui sensei (lecture named Furui) she's japanese who was teached me and Bushra in Japanese class. Other guest in that party are all Bangladesh families whose live in Saga-Japan.

An that party every bangladesh women was wearing traditional garment called saree or shari, that is beautiful and first experience where i surround by women wore saree. Before i just watched in india's movie when i was in my country. Bushra wore a pink saree and Azi with semi-formal shirt.

[the happy couple]

[me, Bushra and Punchy]

[chicken Biryani by Bushra]

Party started at 1.30 and we has lunch with traditional food, that food named Biryani. Bushra cooked all the foods in her party. Biryani made from a mixture of spices, special rice, meat or and vegetables and yoghurt. I kneeew from bushra, many kinds of biryani's, but at that party she's cooked chicken Biryani. The taste are spicy, similar with curry taste from indonesia but biryani's have different unique taste. Next time i want to learn how to cook biryani from Bushra. In her party Bushra also cooked mutton and strawberry cake. My husband and Adi falling in love to biryani and they very happy when Azi asked to take more for biryani. The party was simple, but still nice and lovely party

[my first artwork in Japan for Bushra's anniversary]

In the Party i brought one gift for their anniversary. last month i borrowed their wedding picture and asked to them, i want try to make something from their picture and finally one week before their party the gift is done. I made artpiece on paper and pencil. I draw their portrait due to the wedding picture. After i gave to Bushra, she feels very happy and in the same time i really feel dispassionate and happy too, because before i feel worried if artwork is not good and i never tried to draw portrai for along time, but my husband always support me and asked the pic is good. So, that picture is my first artwork in Japan and from the gifted i gave to Bushra and Azi, i hope our friendship never the end.

Saga,Japan

-Sya

Go to Bishnu

Last month i went to Indian restaurant for took a dinner in central of Saga's city with my husband, Bushra and her husband. This's not the first time i tasted indian foods, i was try at little india when i traveled to Singapore last two years with my schoolmate, but it was very interesting to eat again in Saga-Japan. I think indian cuisine is everywhere now. Indian foods have typical spicy taste. The Indian restaurant name is Bishnu. In there i tried roasted chicked and the chicken is served on a hot plate with curry sauce, flat baked bread called Nan mixed with potatos, the fish and beef curry with medium hot spice, mineral water and also tried indian salad, mixed of onion, vegetables and fruits. The indian salad taste is little bit acidic, maybe used some vinegar or lemon juice on that. I like fish curry, it was very tasty. For Nan, we can choose with different taste, maybe more than six combinations of Nan, my husband tried cheese Nan and my friend Azi just tried Plain Nan (without topping). Our meals are big portion, we feel so full and wait for a moment to finished all meal.

The rate is regular price for foreign cuisine, not to high. One portion for roasted chicken is 500 yen, fish and beef curry around 1500 yen per portion, the curry are served in medium size. For Nan they have different price depends on the topping, start from 500-650 yen per portion, one portion contain three pieces of Nan. I forgot the price for salad, maybe around 500 yen per portion. In restaurant and food halls, tehshoku or set menu are popular, for lunchtime and dinner, but particularly at lunchtime. In Bishnu, also have a Set Menu, that are serve in one big plate and the price around 2500-3500 yen per Set Menu, depends on the menu and are available 4 different Set Menu, but i cant remember each name and all looks delicious.

[Indian bread name Nan]

Bishnu is not big place but feels warm and ethnic, many indian's ornament in there, i can heard indian song and my friend Azi just translate the meaning of the lyric song, because his language have similarities with indian language, that was interesting. And eventhough Bishnu is not a big place i felt comfortable there. By the way, indian foods are rich in spices, that cause the food to be tasty, i like all kinds of indian food. I also tried Nepal and Bangladesh foods, and i think their food has same type of taste maybe they are in the same region and use the same spice. I wish someday i will try indian foods in their origin country(^_^).

Saga,Japan

-Sya

Fave foods in Japan

My favorite foods in Japan are sushi, sashimi and udon (read:udong). The last one is good if we eat in winter, in Japan so many noodle, but udon still the best for me..Umai kore! (read:delicious). I like very much these foods, when i was in my country, i often went to my favorite japanese restaurant in my hometown-Bandung, west Java. The fave japanese restaurant have specialist menu is sushi and udon. My friend who works as a chef told me about japanese food, most japanese foods just use simple ingredients, are also simple to cook and usually simple to serve but they still have a good taste, and i wondering of that until i arrived in sushi's origin country, Japan in July 2007 and I am very excited to try my fave japanese food.

And after three weeks i live here (in Saga) i went to a sushi bar with my husband and Adi's family, i dont remember how many times i have eaten sushi there since i arrived. I think sushi in Japan has a different taste, probably the fish and rice as material is the reason why the taste is different. In my country, especially in my hometown it is difficult to find fresh fish from the sea and japanese rice (for sushi) is different too, little bit short and whole. So maybe thats the reason, beside other ingredients like the sauce called soyou and chili called wasabi. So far i know, wasabi made from Japanese "horseradish", its root is used as a spice and has an extremely strong flavor than chili pepper.

Not only sushi's taste is more delicious here, sashimi too. But udon tastes more delicious in my country than here, i dont know why, maybe in my country the ingredients is adjustable automatically with our taste, we usually use many spices in our foods. The left picture are sashimi (the thin sliced of fresh fish) and udon (noodle with the soup).

I read in some magazines and on the internet about the benefits if we consume sushi and or sashimi. We can increase our health and our stamina. So, i cannot change my fave japanese foods, beside they have a good taste, are simple to eat, i also get other benefits for my body. But in different case, for pregnant women is not suggestion to eat uncooked foods for healthy pregnancy and avoid probability get complication in their pregnancy because of some fish and shellfish contain potentially dangerous levels of mercury.

Saga,Japan

-Sya

One Night with Dinda part one

On Sunday.. January 13, 2008...

[Dinda's on out of date picture]

That day was very interesting when i talked with Dinda all night. She's a 4 years old attractive little girl. Dinda's is Adi's daughter (my husband friend), she's just came with her father to meet my husband in my apartment and usually her father just made a joke to Dinda stay with me, suddenly Dinda said "Yes", i was surprised, expecially her father and ask Dinda to go back home with him, but Dinda kept her decision. Actually Dinda is very close with me and my husband (I really love children), but she's never agreed to stay if i asked to her. Honestly I am happy, finally she wanted to stay with me.

Almost one hour Dinda in my apartment, her father cameback again (actually Dinda's house near to my apartment) with milk, pajamas and everything she needs for along night। I thought she would asked me to go back home early because she's missed her parent or something, but in realized she's feel comfortable and start to made the conversation, sing a song, jumped in my warm sofa and watched Doraemon serial from Youtube। Almost 90% she's talked with Japanese and at the first time i feel difficult to handle the conversation, but Gb I class (Japanese class) is helped i think, little bit i understand what she said and sometimes my husband helped me.

Almost 1 Am Dinda feel sleepy, honestly i feel sleepy before that time and i made two bottles of milk for her and after 20 minutes she's sleep well.

I am Happy Dinda still feel comfortable until the next day she's woke up at 10 with smily face and still cuddle my winnie the pooh. Her mother just called me to said hello to Dinda, but Dinda didnt said anything, she feel afraid if her mother picked up her to go back home soon, she want to stayed one more day. But in the afternoon her parent, little brother and her sister picked her up and Dinda go with cried because she will stay more longer. I just smiled and imagine she will angry all night with her parent.

That was interested experience for me here, in Saga. Dinda's made me laughed and smile all night, i feel happy on that day although lessened my sleep time all night (my husband too) because she's sleep with all "attractive attraction", sometimes her foot suddenly in my head or her hand hit my face and her body was revolve all night..hahahaa.. Dinda, we will missing your "attractive attraction".

soon..

Saga,Japan

-Sya

Transform ur Life?

I just read one article by Sarah Ban Breathnach at Oprah.com, that is inspired me how to get a better life and have quality of life. Simple, but very good to communicate the purpose they want to and Sarah expands on ten simple truths that can start to transform your life now.

Ten Truths to Transform Your Life, are:

1. Gratitude is the most transformative force in the cosmos, because gratitude is love. Sarah says, "When our hearts are broken, we don't think we have much to be thankful for. We don't have to be smiling when we say 'Thank you."
2. Your happiness increases the happiness of everyone who knows you. "We have so much. All we have is all we need. All we need is the awareness of how blessed we really are."
3. Whether we live passionately or not is a choice we make. When writers write, the most important emotion is conveyed between the lines. "I want to live in between the lines, where the depth is."
4. Those who live passionately teach us how to love. Those who love passionately teach us how to live.
5. Big changes come with small choices. "Little changes [and] little choices add up to be revolutionary changes in your life."
6. The more risks you take, the luckier you become.
7. Nothing hurts you more than your expectations. "If you trust life and learn to embrace it and try not to control everything, then life can be more wondrous than you thought it would be."
8. Our relationships with others are only as emotionally healthy, happy, holy and content as our relationships with ourselves.
9. The only wound your soul never recovers from is regret. "What I know for sure is that we don't have the luxury of regret any more. The past only asks to be remembered."
10. Cherish each morning and give thanks for each evening.
    

Hmm, that's good article and can bringing the benefits for everyone and I'm totally agree for that, do you?

-Sya

Saga

Six month ago i came to Japan, i live in Kyusu island that is Saga city, actually Saga is small city, not to famous city, flat land and far from busy situation and honestly very different with my hometown situation, first am feel surpised cause of that, i thought i'll come to lively city, typically city in Japan so far i know, but, Saga still nice city. Before, i lived in Bandung, very lively and attractive city in my country-Indonesia. In whole life, this is the first experience to live far away from my family. Actually i'm an adaptable person, but when i came here - Japan, that is too hard and i should have my own way to handle that problem and i missed my hometown, family, friends and my job very badly. Day by day i try to enjoy my life here in Saga with my husband -without friends yet- and start to enjoy life here. I try to arrange my time with so much joy every day and finally i can't feel bored anymore.

One week after i came to Saga, one of visiting Professor from Thailand (my husband Prof) Prof. Bergado brought us to Nagasaki, that's so nice and this is the first city i traveled in Japan, especially in Kyusu Island. Nagasaki is more lively than Saga. Nagasaki have a hilly area and many buildings with european styles, very nice place. So far, i know this city long time before i came to Japan, i knew from historical books when i was in junior high school, there are Nagasaki it was a centre of european influence in the sixteenth century and during world war II, the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki made the second city in the world to be subject to nuclear warfare by US, that's happened on August 9, 1945. Not only us (me, my husband and Prof. Bergado) go to Nagasaki, Bushra, Azi (Bushra's husband) and two other student from thailand but i forgot their name- also came. We have so much fun there.

[Front of Nagasaki National Peace memorial Museum]

[with my husband at peace garden, Nagasaki]

[with my friends at Glover Garden entrance, Nagasaki]

In Nagasaki, we went to Glover Garden, in it stands the Glover Residence, the oldest Western style house surviving in Japan and Nagasaki's foremost tourist attraction. Inside Glover Garden i'm did'nt feel in Japan, the scenery, buildings, garden and all espouse me just like in europe. There are romantic and exotic place..Beautiful.

[Nagasaki view's from glover garden]

[Glover Residence at Glover Garden]

I also go to other city that is Kumamoto, still in Kyusu Island with my husband of course, bushra-from bangladesh and Prof.Bergado's wife. The city's most famous landmark is Kumamoto castle, a large and, in its day, extremely well-fortified Japanese castle.

Now, i have friends from other countries and we often go around Saga or go to another city together or one of us have some invitation to lunch, dinner, playing bowling or karaoke together and the good way i can practice my english and or japanese everyday. From our friendship i can learn other languages and traditional cooking as well. Another activity to fullfill my time are join with japanese and english class at Saga University, the same campus with my husband and all at once to practicing my japanese and english with sensei (lecture).

Lately, i know many things to make me feel enjoy live in Saga i can see anything and try new things are available here. I already try many japanese foods and i can enjoy the food anytime i want. Many parks we can carry gathering or small barbecue party there, have different festival for each season (International Balloon festival every year on autumn, light fantasy, summer festival-natsu matsuri..), bazaar - i love this!(^-^) we can find new or second hand things with low price, very low price if we compare with regular price in shop we can find clothes, shoes, bags, ceramics, kitchen equipments, house hold and many things. In saga we also can safely ride the bicycle everywhere (good for healthy i think..), low cost for live if we compare with other cities in Japan. [My wish].. i can go travel around Japan, i start to enjoy and want to live longer than before i planned.

-Thanx God to always guide me and make me comfortable to live here-

Saga,Japan

-Sya

Usman dan Opor ayam

Siang, 21 Okt2006..
Kejadian waktu itu punya arti banget buat aku, sedih rasanya kalau inget itu..kalimat yang aku dengar siang itu dan masih terngiang sampai hari ini.."..abdi mah mun hoyong kupat sareng opor weh Tehh..." -- ("..saya cuma pengen ketupat dan opor saja Teh.."). Allah pasti pengen kasi pesen sama aku dengan kjadian siang tadi, kenapa harus aku yang berhadapan dengan beberapa anak kecil itu?, kenapa aku punya keinginan untuk berhenti beli barang dagangannya?, kenapa aku bertanya tentang kehidupan anak-anak itu?, yang akhirnya buat aku semakin menyadari betapa beruntungnya aku dimasa kecil!. Bukan aku tidak pernah melihat aktifitas mreka berdagang di sekitar gedung sate Bandung, setiap kali aku melintas gedung sate, setiap kali itu juga aku sering melihat mereka..bahkan sampai aku tau dimana mereka beristirahat didaerah itu. Nggak tega!, sampai aku pernah berusaha menghindari mlewati jalur itu cuma untuk tidak melihat anak-anak itu.

Beberapa hari lalu, aku melewati daerah Gedung Sate bareng Natalie, waktu itu kita lihat mereka sedang berdagang, saat itu komentar aku dan Natalie sama.." gw nggak tega liatnya!", "duh..pasti berat kan, nanggung-nanggung -- memanggul barang itu, coet (ulekan dr batu/cobek) kan berat..., pasti pertumbuhan badan mereka nggak sempurna deh..dari kecil sudah seperti itu kerjaanya dan cape pasti, mereka masih kecil". Seharusnya mereka sedang bermain dengan teman sebayanya, bukan seperti yang sedang aku lihat.

Dan hari itu, rencanaku hanya ingin pergi beli buku bacaan dan sedikit putar-putar Bandung. Paling tidak Bandung sedikit lengang, mungkin penghuni dan pendatang mulai berangkat mudik lebaran=), nice situation dan nggak tau kenapa pengen lewat jalur gedung sate itu dan nggak tau kenapa juga ahirnya aku berhenti..dan memanggil salah satu dari mereka, anak kecil itu tersenyum sambil menghampiri.." beli Coet nya teh..", sebelum aku jawab pertanyaannya, aku hujani dia dengan pertanyaan, kenapa mereka masih jualan?, lebaran dimana?, kenapa jualan ini?, kalian puasa ga?, orang tuanya dimana?, barang dagangan dari mana?, harus setor berapa?, kalian ga cape?...dan masih banyak lagi...beberapa anak menghampiri aku lagi, sedikit banyak ahirnya mereka berkeluh kesah.."cape teh, sabenerna mah..tapi da kumaha deui.." (" cape sebenernya, tapi mau bagaimana lagi"), "tapi reseup abdi mah teh, jualan kieu teh, bari lalajoan.." ("tapi saya seneng, jualan ini sambil main-main..").. Ya Allah, pengen banget deh beli semua yang mereka jual saat itu, dan suruh mereka pulang saat itu..dan pengen banget marah! karena ternyata mereka di organisir oleh seorang Ibu!. Kenapa harus anak kecil!duh...masih usia Sekolah Dasar.. kurus!, kucel, keringet dimana2 dan aku coba untuk angkat tanggungan yang isinya barang dagangan mereka, dan hasilnya BERAT!..dapet kekuatan dari mana mereka untuk nanggung barang itu dipundak mereka..atau kekuatan datang dari keterpaksaan karena memang harus dapet "makan" dengan cara itu. Aku beli 3 Cobek, nggak tau deh buat apa dirumah, aku beli dari masing2 anak..ada sekitar 7 anak sebenarnya, tapi yang lain masih keliling.. Aku tanya, pengen apa mereka di hari lebaran nanti..salah satu dari mereka menjawab, " abdi mah mun hoyong kupat sareng opor weh teh.."..ga tau mereka ngomong apa lagi..tapi ucapan Usman tadi dan anggukan temannya langsung terekam dan terus di ulang2 di otak!..hanya itu yang mereka pengen!..KETUPAT DAN OPOR!..hampir ga percaya, mereka belum pernah rasain ketupat dan opor!..kesekian puluh kali aku rasain nikmatnya ketupat dan opor di rumah!..mereka belum sama sekali!.. aku pikir mereka akan minta angpao/uang lebaran atau sarung baru atau peci baru atau apapun...ya ampun..semoga mereka dilindungi oleh-Nya.. siang itu aku meerasa dapat tamparan keras dari seorang anak kecil..sedih banget. Saat itu juga, aku merasa ada yang salah sama aku, tiba-tiba aku jadi sensitif banget.."KETUPAT DAN OPOR!"...hanya itu yang mereka pengen, yang Usman pengen!..menyesal!, aku lupa..nggak tanya, dihari lebaran nanti mereka berjualan atau tidak, aku mau bawa ketupat dan opor buat mereka. Ya Allah, beri aku kelapangan hati dan rasa syukur yang berlimpah atas apa yang Kau beri padaku hingga detik ini... cita-cita mereka mungkin kecil buat kita, tapi itu satu cita-cita besar buat mereka..mereka ingin "ketupat dan opor!

Bandung, Indonesia06

-Sya

2008 means New spirit..

Tahun-tahun lalu banyak sekali "ujian" hidup yang datang, tapi dari semua yang terjadi banyak "nilai" baik yang di dapat, walau itu dilewati dengan sakit!. Dan tahun 2008 ini sebentar lagi usiaku setahun lebih tua dari seperempat abad!, banyak sekali yang harus aku hadapi kedepan, punya harapan semuanya bisa dilalui dengan baik. Nggak jelas juga detail apa yang akan terjadi nanti dengan hidupku, tapi aku punya rencana-rencana yang mudah-mudahan bisa membantu memudahkan hidup nanti, aku berusaha sebaik-baiknya.

Aku nggak bilang kesulitan yang pernah aku jalani itu yang paling berat, walau beberapa teman yang tahu punya pendapat kalau aku begitu kuat dengan yang sudah dijalani, banyak yang bilang juga " Sa, cerita loe kaya sinetron deh.." hmm, kalau menurut aku, cerita sinetron itu ada karena terinspirasi dari cerita masyarakat nyata, masyarakat diluar televisi dan diluar imajinasi penulis skenario..so, film, lirik lagu, sinetron, puisi, atau apapun basicly based on our life.. Untuk urusan yang namanya kuat atau nggak, aku sendiri amazing bahwa aku bisa bertahan saat menjalani masa berat.. tapi itu lima tahun lalu, aku nggak pengen ada sekuel cerita dari episode pertama, episode pertama dulu itu udah ada tulisan "SELESAI" atau "TAMAT" dibelakang ceritanya, walau nggak ada tulisan "Happy ending". Menurut aku, lima tahun lalu itu adalah dimana tessa's life benar-benar baru dimulai, dan I got better value at that time and got my new me.. aku banyak sekali berubah karena "insiden" itu, hampir semua "aspek" dalam hidup aku berubah karena satu "mahkluk" beserta kroninya itu, walau sakit, akhirnya aku harus say thanks to that people and etc.. untuk yang sudah mereka lakukan sama aku, teman2 dan keluarga.. walau sebelumnya harus bela sungkawa dengan hilangnya sebagian besar stok air mata, tabungan pribadi, penurunan stok lemak tubuh secara drastis, kehilangan teman-teman, keluarga ikut kena dampaknya juga hilangnya kepercayaan, sempet paranoid selama beberapa bulan, sempet kena gejala "sinis" kronis, dikejar-kejar rasa penasaran, sempat jadi detektif di daerah-daerah kehidupan malam Bandung, jadi ngerasain pertama kalinya tidur di mobil untuk kepentingan "penyelidikan", lose contact hampir dua tahun sama temen lama yang dulunya deket banget, kehilangan pekerjaan, klien, konsentrasi, keluar, bolak-balik notaris, tidur kurang buat mata yang udah bengkak jadi makin bengkak, tagihan telfon kantor, rumah, hp membengkak, plus harus mulai membagi pikiran sama waktu kuliah..hihihi, ribet, ribet...aku mengalami presure yang sangat saat itu tertipu lahir batin rasanya, tapi nggak bisa berbuat banyak juga.. hmm, makanya buat para "penipu" walau dimulai sama yang "kecil-kecil" urusanya sama yang di Atas aja deh sekarang, repot urusannya dan ngurusnya..hehehe, some day akan tahu hasil juga dari apa-apa aja yang sudah dilakukan..nggak enak banget kalau kita terjebak dalam situasi itu.. dan.. segudang lagi entah berapa banyak "kerugian" yang ada, tapi aku bisa jadi aku yang lebih kuat dan mudah-mudahan lebih baik setiap detiknya..amin. Di salah satu blog aku pernah nulis "caci maki" atau rasa kesal tentang kejadian itu, walau itu mungkin hanya 20 persen yang aku tulis, tapi itu "selesai" dan ampuh juga ngobatin uneg-uneg yang ada dan untuk kali ini aku ingin mencoba lebih bijak menyikapinya dan Toh.. hal itu sudah banyak buat perubahan positif di hidup aku selanjutnya sampai hari ini. Duh, syukur banget rasanya pernah ada didalam situ.. (btw, untung nggak 100 persen cerita itu di tulis, kalau nggak bisa ngalahin ratusan episode sinetronnya karya Multi Vision yaa..).

Terkadang masih ada orang-orang yang menganggap dirinya atau mereka lah yang punya beban hidup banyak.. tapi ternyata masih banyak orang yang punya kehidupan yang lebih sulit lagi.. dan itu juga yang buat dasar supaya aku tidak mengasihani diri atau menyesali kenapa hal-hal ini atau itu terjadi. Aku hanya akan diam atau tersenyum saat ada orang yang menganggap permasalahan dirinya itu adalah yang paling berat,hmm.. mungkin orang atau mereka itu bukannya salah, tapi mereka mungkin tidak sadar dan tidak tahu apa yang harus dilakukan.

Cerita lima tahun lalu itu dan kisah orang-orang disekitar dan mencoba untuk lebih sensitif sama lingkungan sekitar include keluarga udah kayak "kamus hidup" buat aku, kalau aku merasa sedih berlebihan, marah, takut, putus asa (diluar masa-masa PMS tentunya.hihihi..) aku akan "buka" lagi kamus itu dan naturally bisa nambah semangat dan biasanya muncul kalimat maya " ..Sa, kenapa lo putus asa/takut/ ..etc.. dulu hal berat itu lo bisa lewatin dan mengontrol emosi kenapa sekarang nggak??, Inget! banyak orang yang lbh sulit dari lo, lo masih beruntung!".

Tahun ini aku harus punya semangat "baru" nggak terpatok hanya tahun ini, tahun-tahun depan yang berbau-bau semangat harus tetap eksis=). "cerita lama harus ditutup atau dihapus bersih-bersih, biar nggak ganggu hidup kita sekarang.." , satu temen pernah bilang itu sama aku, tapi menurut aku malah cerita lama yang punya "arti" itu yang bisa jadi "motor" dalam hidup untuk bisa lebih baik, awalnya kalau inget-inget memang kerasa agak miris, tapi lama-lama bisa nginget sambil senyum..(^_^).. dan cerita "indah" sekalipun yang nggak bisa "terjamah" bisa jadi hikmah di hidup kedepannya dan aku baca tulisan temen deket aku Victoria, she said "Don't worry about people in your past. There must be a reason why they don't make it to your future", termasuk juga " jangan khawatir sama semua kejadian yang terjadi dulu..not only people.."..right?. So, fullfill this new year with new spirit and dont be afraid if something wrong happen to you, bcoz you will learn from that and bring you to the better life... tapi jangan karena buat salah ada hikmah jadi sengaja buat salah ya Bo..

Saga, Japan..
happy new year2008

-Sya